Disregard
by DarkSideOfLife
Summary: or Five times where Jack was left to wallow in his misery and one time when he wasn't. Mostly pre-movie, partial past-movie and scenes from the movie as well. " "Please," he spoke one last time in desperation, "tell me what's the point of trying?" "
1. Unseen

Fill for rotgKink-meme prompt:

Five times where Jack was left to wallow in his misery and one time when he wasn't.

You know those times when you get just so overwhelmingly upset

that your chest hurts and you can't stop crying/almost crying,

and you just want someone to hold you?

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**Unseen**

Despite the darkness Jack could still see people roaming around, even a few children here and there.

What he could see from his position in the sky held aloft by the wind the village was relatively small with just a few families occupying it.

He wondered why everyone seemed to feel so cold. Most of them were rubbing their hands together, pulling their clothes tight around themselves and staying in motion as much as they could.

Maybe they just couldn't stand the cold as good as him? He didn't feel cold at all. Weird.

After he landed on the ground Jack straightened himself and brushed his clothes off laughing in his excitement to meet other people before he was jogging towards the others. Even though he was doing his best to catch their attention they didn't react at all walking straight past Jack without giving him a single glance. How rude.

Just as he had begun to talk to a woman who sat in an old wooden chair in front of a small house he saw a young kid running towards him.

Jack crouched on the ground to look the boy better in his eyes but the kid didn't seem to notice him since he didn't slow down as he got nearer. None the less Jack didn't let that discourage him.

He started asking the lad if he could tell him where he was however his question was cut off before he had finished it when the kid walked straight through him. What...?

Jack's eyes widened as he quickly straightened breathing harder due to his shock.

How was that possible? From what he could tell he looked just the same as everyone else although his hair color seemed a bit odd in comparison. But that didn't explain why apparently none of them could see him.

Were they not the same after all? Was he different than them? Was something wrong with him or just with everyone else? Jack didn't know.

Turning his head around, soon followed by the rest of his body his gaze followed the child that had ran through him. Suddenly the same feeling from before rushed through him. A kind of numbness that spread in his chest, leaving a hollow ache behind. Every time someone walked through Jack that feeling filled him.

He was gasping when two more people passed through him.

In a last desperate attempt he called out 'hello?' twice, looking around hoping that anyone reacted to his voice. He felt even more helpless when no one did.

Was there really nobody in this whole village who could notice him?

Jack pressed his right hand against his chest to check that he was indeed real. He was pretty sure that he was but it seemed like that had escaped the others notice.

He turned his back to the village and cast one last look behind before he disappeared in the forest.

He wanted to be alone. Well...he obviously was since no one registered his presence but he didn't want to see anyone. At least no one that couldn't see him. What would be the point? He was certainly upset enough he didn't need to make it any worse.

When Jack finally arrived back at his pond where he had woken up from he collapsed to the ground while sobs began to wreck his slim body.

There was so much pain! Everything hurt, his chest the most of all. Tears welled up in his eyes before they slid down his pale cheeks unnoticed.

He was alone, completely on his own. What were the odds of anyone else seeing him? Slim to none that's what his chances to be ever seen were. Maybe that was a little pessimistic but Jack couldn't help it at the moment. He was way too upset to think straight.

Similar thoughts plagued his mind until the child fell into an exhausted sleep under the ever watchful moon.


	2. Unheard

**2. Unheard**

It wasn't Jack's idea to travel so far but the Wind had insisted until he gave in. Even though he couldn't understand a word the children in this new place spoke Jack still managed to have fun with them without much trouble. It helped that none of them could see or speak to him, too.

Jack wasn't the best reader but even he could see that the letters there weren't the same as back home.

Some were similar to one's from his native language with the exception that they were upside down.

It didn't sound anything like what he was used to hearing either. At least no one could point out that Jack was not from there since they couldn't even see him. It seemed like his invisibility did have its perks.

Every adult that got anywhere near the area were Jack was at the time suffered through slick patches of ice that suddenly appeared under their feet or their hats were blown off their heads without warning. While the adult's day was more problematic the children were all laughing and having a good time until well into the night.

The darker it got the more children left to go back to their homes. Soon Jack was alone again. Left behind like a toy that wasn't wanted anymore. It would be a lie if he'd say it didn't hurt but he couldn't change anything about it so he did his best not to dwell on it.

Just as he was about to fly off to find new playmates something caught his attention from the corner of his eyes. Jack almost missed the shape hidden in all the shadows that surrounded it but as he took a closer look he saw that it was a young child. It sat on the ground in an alley despite the snow that covered it.

After he overcame his confusion Jack took a step closer his curiosity growing. He wondered were the child's parents were. The other kids had left already and he couldn't see any adults around. Even though he couldn't feel the cold as much as everyone else did he still realized that it was far too cold outside at this time of the day.

From what he could make out the child in front of him was a girl not much younger than him, probably around ten years old. Her clothes looked old and too small on her body since they didn't cover her wrists and ankles. She appeared as dirty as if she hadn't been clean for at least a couple of days but he couldn't be sure with all the clean white snow around her and the light wasn't too bright either. She made a pitiful picture all in all.

At first he hadn't noticed it but as the girl began to shiver harder he noticed and concern grew inside of him. This was the first time Jack had seen a child outside so late without any adults around. Something about it didn't seem right to him. To be honest it worried him.

After a few moments where he thought about what to do still no one had come up to the girl to take her home. As his concern grew so did his helplessness. There had to be something he could do! For crying out loud he could fly and control snow and ice so why couldn't he help a single child?! That couldn't be too hard right? Grown-ups did it all the time. Why couldn't he even think of something to do?

But standing around doing nothing didn't help the situation any.

Trying his best to lighten the mood Jack kicked some snow from the ground into the air with his staff which caused the girl to get covered in snow. "What…?" Surprise and confusion were mixed into her voice but then she just shrugged and went back to staring at the ground.

Not one to give up easily Jack spread frost over the ground and up the wall the child leant against. In response a soft smile bloomed on her face. Delicate hands followed the spreading frost her fingers lightly touching it.

In the meantime the sun's last rays had disappeared leaving the small town in almost complete darkness. Weren't it for the stars that shone in the sky it wouldn't have been possible to see more than a few meters ahead. No light came from the moon since it didn't appear to be anywhere Jack could see.

In consequence of his growing agitation clouds began to fill the sky blocking the stars from view.

Soon thick snowflakes fell down and the air cooled noticeable.

Jack crouched on the ground a smile on his face when he that she had looked up to watch the snow that fell. The previous frown that had marred her face disappeared and her hands that were again curled around her bent knees relaxed.

Jack settled a few feet away from her sitting cross legged on the ground his staff laid over his knees.

"I wonder what your name is little girl," he wondered aloud. It wasn't a surprise when he didn't receive a response. Nonetheless he dropped his shoulders, sighed and lifted his gaze heavenward.

Both children gasped in surprise when they saw tendrils of sand come down from above to spread around town. The glow from them reflected off of the snow that covered every surface.

Grins spread on their faces at the same time unnoticed.

Such a small occurrence managed to lift the heavy heart of Jack and settled the girl more at ease.

"That's it!" Jack burst out followed by him springing up, "This has to be from this 'Sandman' the kids back home talked about! And if his sand is here…," he trailed of searched with his gaze across the sky, "than surely he must be near!" He was certain that the other spirit could help.

With one last look behind Jack nodded to himself and took off into the air his staff raised in in front of him. When he took flight the sand began to dissolve already which caused him to fly faster in the direction from where the sand came from.

On a cloud of sand sat a small but round man who waved his arms around obviously to direct his sand where it was supposed to go. Jack chuckled at the comical sight the Sandman made while he waved his short arms around wildly and a look of concentration set on his face.

The image he made reminded Jack of young children playing around in dirt spraying it around.

"Hey Sandman! I need to speak with you for a sec," Jack shouted to get the other's attention.

A frown appeared on his face when he got no reaction. Maybe he just didn't hear him? With a shrug he shortened the distance between them until they were just a few meters apart. After a second shout still didn't get a reaction Jack smirked and conjured snow and ice in his left hand. He chuckled softly before he threw the snowball that had formed right in the Sandman's face. That finally got him a response.

Golden eyebrows were drawn together in an irritated expression. His hands had stopped their motion when he turned around to see who had interrupted him in his work. Jack couldn't imagine that the Sandman was often thrown at with snowballs. And the way the snow and ice melted into his body which seemed to consist out of sand didn't look pleasant. The sand of his shoulders had darkened because of the wetness and reminded Jack of how dirt looked after rain.

"Sorry little man but you weren't reacting and I really need your help," Jack began but stopped when he saw the image that had formed above the other's head. An hourglass out of sand indicated that the other didn't have time for him.

"Yeah, I know you have to do your job and all but it's urgent and I really-", before he could finish his sentence the Sandman had shot him an apologetic look just to fly away too fast for Jack to follow. Apparently he was done in this area. Great. Just great. What was he supposed to do now?

After his attempt of getting help he went back hoping the girl had gotten home while he was away.

But when he arrived his hopes vanished. At the same place as before the youngster sat on the ground. His chest ached when he saw how much paler she had gotten. Her shivering had gotten worse too.

Since Jack couldn't do anything useful to help her situation he sank to the ground far enough away from her so he won't get her any colder than she already was. The grip on his staff tightened whilst he watched her helplessly. Even though it was freezing she had fallen asleep while he was away.

"She should be lying in a bed not outside on the freezing cold ground…" he muttered and his mouth twisted down into an unhappy frown. He would love to have some fun but there was nothing funny about this and he couldn't just leave her all alone. It didn't matter that she couldn't see him.

The snowfall hadn't stopped even one moment throughout the night rather the amount of snowflakes had increased with time. In the dawn of the next morning they were almost an inch big and still steadily falling down. Not one citizen of the town could get even a glimpse of the sun on that day. The whole time until night started again the sun was blocked from sight by thick, dark clouds.

In the afternoon a young couple spotted a body in a deserted alley. Screams sounded when they realized it was the corpse of a young girl. Unbeknown to them next to the dead girl was the spirit of winter who had helplessly watched her die from the cold he usually found so much fun in.

His thin arms were wrapped tightly around himself, his head bowed, dull blue eyes never leaving the form that lay next to him.


	3. Unrealized

**Thanks for all the reviews, followers & favorites :)**

**Hope you'll all enjoy this, took me long enough...hehe. Have fun! ;)**

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**3. ****Unrealized**

Fall's end was near, mostly all leafs had already switched their places from the plants to the earth. The ground was painted red, yellow and brown in autumn's colors. The wind blew harsher and colder, the earth had cooled down and thin sheets of ice formed in the night to melt once more in the morning.

Children were waiting anxiously for the arrival of winter. Days full of snowball fights, building snowmen and sledding filled their heads. Adults were afraid of winter's harshness that was about to come. They didn't think about all the fun in the snow they could have. They worried about how they were going to get enough food and wood to keep them full and warm before the cold season began.

In no time at all winter arrived and so with it so did Jack Frost. It was him who brought the first snowfall and it was him who left beautiful patterns of frost on every surface he touched. Every snowflake, every frost pattern was unique.

Fortunately he didn't have to consciously come up with each design or it would take him far longer to spread ice and snow around the world than it did now.

"It's good to finally be home again," the boy cheerfully said to no one in particular. His 'home' as he fondly calls it is actually a village near the place he woke up from for the first time. Inside a small forest there was a pond surrounded by trees. It wasn't an unusual sight to see children play on its frozen surface during winter and swim in its warm water once summer came.

Every time Jack saw kids play around on the ice there were adults not too far away. Of course he understood that they were just trying to keep their kids safe but it still irked him slightly every time he spotted them. They couldn't possibly know he was there but he still watched after the children every time they set foot on his pond, doing his best to keep them out of danger.

It was his pond after all. It was the place he experienced his first memory, where he had learned his name and had explored the powers he wielded. And it was over this particular pond the Moon spoke to him. The first and last time someone spoke to him, had known he existed.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by children's laughter that rang across the main area in the middle of the village. Boys and girls alike ran out of their homes to play in the first snowfall of the season.

Big smiles and rosy cheeks adorned their faces while they enjoyed winters arrival.

Jack laughed as he watched their enthusiasm, glad he could bring joy to them by simply being there.

A now familiar weight that had settled in his chest disappeared and soon he was running along with the kids, his laughter ringing along with theirs.

When enough snow had fallen Jack gathered a handful to form a snowball. A smirk spread across his face and with an eager chuckle he breathed onto it to harden the snow with ice. He looked around searching for a target, his gaze flying around until it landed on a girl with brown hair and eyes that sat alone and hadn't joined he other's. Instead she was watching them while they played around. Her head was bowed slightly, her hands wrapped around her knees that she had pressed against her chest.

No child should look that sad while he was around to cheer them up. And that was exactly why he had to brighten her mood no matter what it cost.

Jack took his time aiming at her, making sure he wouldn't miss. After he had thrown one of his special snowballs that always managed to cheer others up, he leant against his staff to enjoy her reaction. Instead of smiling or getting annoyed like he expected her to she merely looked around as if searching for someone. After a few moments of silent searching tears gathered in her eyes and with a sob she stood abruptly up to run away, disappearing inside the forest.

As he watched this, his eyes had widened and his previously still outstretched arm had fallen limply down at his side. "What…did just happen?" As he looked around he noticed the serious and sad expressions that had appeared on the children's faces. No one was playing around anymore after the girl had taken off.

Did they know what all that was about? He wished they could answer his questions to clear his confusion and ease the guilt that had begun to build in him. He didn't mean for that to happen, he merely wanted to cheer her up a bit, to have fun with her. What had happened instead was no fun at all.

"She's always so boring now since you-know-what happened," a boy around twelve years old muttered frowning. The girl next to him pushed her elbow harshly into his side and shot him an angry look.

"Stop talking about it," she hissed, "everyone's missing him but what had happened hit her the hardest even though many winters have passed since. My mom told me all about it." Various children nodded in agreement. A few moments passed until they reluctantly went back to their game although it was with less enthusiasm than before.

Even more confused than before Jack looked in the direction the girl had run off to, than back to the other kids. He wanted to know what all that was about but he also wanted to enjoy his first day back home with the kids. "It's not like I can't play with them tomorrow again…" Convinced he turned around and took off into the sky unnoticed.

Freshly fallen snow covered the ground burrowing dead leafs and plenty of tree branches. Silence rang around the forest. Even the animals' sounds were softened by the snow, barely audible. A few birds' tracks were scattered across the snow but most of it was left untouched.

A lone set of footprints disappeared from the village deep into the forest. The boots that had left the track were too small to be from an adult but too large to be from a child. Jack left no trace behind while he followed the teenager's footprints.

Reaching his destination he spotted the girl standing at the edge of his pond. She stood there not making a sound, her hands balled into fists at her sides. Her back was straight, her shoulders tense.

Strands of her hair had been blown into her face but she didn't seem to notice or just didn't care about it. Eyes fixed on the water she began to shake after a shot moment where he hovered in the air watching silently. First it her fists began to shake, her arms soon followed. It wasn't long until her whole body was shaking.

It didn't seem to be caused only by the cold, it rather looked like she was doing her best to not shout and rage because of too many emotions inside of her. Her brows were furrowed, eyes damp and her mouth pressed into a thin line.

He could understand how she felt; he knew what others would see when he felt that way. He had seen it often enough reflected off of ice. His face then looked exactly like hers did right now. The similarity was almost scary; their expression looked so much alike.

Jack didn't know what made her feel so miserable but it really shouldn't matter because no child deserved to be in such a deplorable condition. Not when it could be so easily solved, having people that loved them and were able to cheer them up and help them. But this girl was alone right now safe for him but she didn't know he was there. Either no one knew how to help her or there was no one to do it.

No one like there wasn't anyone who was there for him when he needed it.

Frost spread on top of the water when he hovered in front of the girl, above the pond's surface.

Tears fell out of her eyes while she watched the frost spread. He thought it was beautiful but she didn't look like she agreed. Instead her shaking got worse until she sank to her knees, sobs wrecking her slim body.

"…", his mouth opened but no sound came out. He didn't know what to say. It didn't matter either way since she couldn't have heard him anyway. He wanted to calm her down so much but when his hand reached out to touch her shoulder he stopped before he touched her. "Stupid. She can't see you anyway," he muttered, his shoulders drooping. With a sigh he wrapped his hand back around his staff.

Jack wanted to make her happy but she hadn't reacted well anytime he had used his powers. Talking to her wasn't an option either so what was left that he could do?

"Maybe…Hey Wind!" he shouted. The response he got propelled him a few feet into the air which caused him to laugh loudly. "You see the girl that's moping at the edge of my pond Wind? Make her laugh!" He was grinning like a loon, eagerly anticipating her reaction towards Wind's antics.

But no matter what it did nothing seemed to lift the girl's spirit. Her expression stayed mournful and her eyes never wavered from the spot somewhere in the middle of the pond she had fixed her gaze upon.

"Hm…what to do now?" he asked tapping his fingers against his chin.

Before he could come up with something else to do, a noise he hadn't expected startled him out of his musings. Lowering to the ground again to look her in the face he listened silently while she spoke.

The girl had closed her eyes. "Jack…" she began her voice thick from tears but she didn't finish whatever she wanted to say, instead squeezing her eyes shut more tightly and sobbing.

"Did you…did you just…?" he stuttered with wide eyes. Was this really happening? Could she really see him? Hope blossomed in him leaving him unable to think clearly, ignoring the fact that she hadn't reacted to anything he said or did before.

He had been alone for so long it physically hurt him when he thought about it too hard. But maybe this could all end now…Maybe his only wish would finally come true!

Jack kneeled down in front of the first person that could possibly see him.

Slowly, hesitantly his arm reached forward, towards her but before his fingertips touched her he hesitated. Doubts filled him and fear rushed through him.

What if…what if it wasn't real? What if all of this was a dream and he would wake up as soon as he would touch her? He didn't want to wake up, not when he came so close.

He shook his head before he determinedly lowered his arm onto her shoulder-

just to pass right through her.

His hand snapped back as if burned and a pained whimper escaped him. The all too familiar ache that always came before he had to cry left him curled in on himself. Soon tears spilled down his cheeks to freeze on his pale face, two children crying together and still all alone.

She couldn't see him…no one could see him. He was and will be on his own forever. He couldn't let himself believe anything else; it hurt too much when his hopes were shattered again and again.

"I'm so sorry," the girl whispered as if in answer to his anguish, "I miss you Jack. Every day I remember all the games and tricks you played. I wish you were still here…Everything's just so dull without you. Nothing is fun anymore." With a deep sigh she rose, wiping tears onto her sleeve and took one last look around before she turned and made her way back home, not realizing that she left her dead brother behind to wallow alone in his misery.


	4. Unanswered

**Thank you all for the feedback and support! I'm glad that I managed to get all the feelings across. Hope I managed it this time, too. :)**

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**4.**** Unanswered**

"If there's something I'm doing wrong, could you... could you just tell me what it is? Because I've tried _everything_, and no one ever sees me." Silence. Jack received no answer. _"_ You put me here! The least you can do is tell me..." his voice cracked slightly but he pushed on regardless. "…tell me why." He looked up at the moon, not really expecting an answer but still hoping that he would finally get one. Silence was the only answer he got. It was the only one he ever got.

Tears prickled in his eyes. His head was bowed, shrouding his moist eyes in shadows so no one could see him crying Jack took off. He couldn't stand to see the moon any longer nor could he stand tobe seen by it so he flew off into the darkness that hung over the forest near Burgress.

Jack had had enough. No matter what he did nothing changed, hadn't in three hundred years. What was the point to continue trying? Didn't he suffer enough already? What could he have done to deserve this? No matter how many people where around him he was still as alone as ever. Who deserved that? And the only one that could see him hadn't told him anything except his name, had created him just to leave him on his own without any answers.

During the day it wasn't all that terrible. At least it never seemed so bad when he could play with children and distract himself with the fun he caused others. He too had lots of fun by day. But when night came…When he was left alone with his thoughts all the bad things came rushing back.

At night Jack couldn't do anything to escape from his thoughts. That was why it was harder at night for him. Every day he was dreading the time when he was left alone, when everything was dark and seemed worse than it did before.

It wasn't the first time Jack had tried to get answers from the moon. Almost every night since he was born he tried. Sometimes he was screaming and shouting until his voice gave out, other time's he was begging and pleading while sobs tore through his body and his vision was blurred by tears.

A few times it had been so bad that Jack had just stared at the moon silently, overwhelmed by all the pain he had felt for so long. On nights like those he didn't feel sad or angry or frustrated. No, then there was nothing but this deep aching in his chest. He only ever said one thing then. It was the same thing over and over again. "Maybe I can't handle this. Maybe it's just all too much. But you just don't care do you?" And apparently the moon didn't.

Nothing ever changed no matter how much he screamed and begged and cried. Everything he did was wrong. The moon didn't even seem to realize how unhappy Jack was. Everyday was the same shit. Same people. Same routine. And it was getting really old. He hated the way things were.

At the beginning he had been so happy but now he was not. Not at all. And nobody even knew or cared about it. No one noticed his tears, no one noticed his sadness, no one noticed his pain. The only thing they did notice was his mistakes to yell and rage at him without ever listening to him or answering any of his questions.

Jack stood under one of the many trees that surrounded him, leaning against it. His hood was still up, covering his face. Three hundred years of being alone, of being ignored and shunned and he still couldn't get a few answers? Was that really too much to ask for? He hadn't felt this bad for a long time. Actually he hadn't ever felt this bad before at all.

He lifted his face to look up at the moon that he could make out between the bare branches of the trees above him. The sky was pitch black, merely a few stars shining and the moon standing high.

It didn't matter that he wouldn't get answered; at least he knew that the moon could hear him. That was why he still talked to him in nights like these because it was better to talk to someone that could hear him than having no one at all to talk to and admitting that he was really completely on his own.

"I'm just," Jack's voice muttered lowly, "I'm just kinda tired, you know?" Tear were flowing down his pale face, his voice cracking a bit. "I want to stop trying and not care for a while."

His shoulders slumped and when someone had looked at him it would have been clearly visible how exhausted and defeated Jack really was. "I'm a little tired of feeling like a failure…" A sob broke out of him, cutting anything else he might have said of.

Even though the silence that followed his speech was expected it still hurt more than ever. He had been strong as long as he could but it was just too much. He crumbled to the ground, his hands covering his face, covering how his face scrunched up in misery.

A gasp escaped him although he tried to be quiet. Not that it mattered since no one cared anyway. Eventually his gasps became loud, heartwrenching sobs. He cried and cried, so much he couldn't breathe.

"Why?" he asked, his voice quivering and breathless, "Why me? Why this?" His hands were fisted in his hoody above the point his heart was. It ached, his heart ached harder than it had ever before.

"Why can't it just end?" Jack couldn't speak more, his voice breaking and leaving him entirely. He sobbed harder, tried to gasp breaths in between, his arms wrapped around his chest while he knelt on the ground hunched over.

After a while he couldn't even cry anymore, the tears just wouldn't come out. Jack wanted to scream and break everything. He was fucking tired of fighting any longer than he already had. What was the point? The same shit happened again and again anyway. He couldn't see the point of going on anymore.

"Please," he spoke one last time in desperation, "tell me what's the point of trying?" As always silence was his only answer. Eventually he completely collapsed on the floor and just laid there, feeling numb.

It took him until deep into the night before he managed to return to Burgress where he later met Bunnymund and was shoved into a sack and tossed through a magic portal. Jack never told any of the Guardians of his break down that night.


	5. Untrusted

****I'm so sorry for the long wait! *hides behind sofa*

It's not really that long but...I kinda like it. Hope you will like it, too. :)

And don't worry Jack'll soon get all those hugs he needs!

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**Untrusted **

"We should never have trusted you!" Aster roared while he took a few steps towards him, posture tense and aggressive.

Something in Jack's chest tightened painfully when he heard those words. He knew it wasn't his fault Easter was ruined this year. Not completely at least. It was Pitch who had done this, not him. Right?

There was a small part of him that whispered in his head how he could have helped them if he hadn't been selfishly hunting down his teeth and instead had been there to help them.

Aster's fist was raised as he stood in front of him and Jack stumbled back in shock. Did he really think…that all of this was his doing? That he had wanted this to happen? If the anger in the pooka's eyes was any indication that was exactly what Aster was thinking.

Jack's eyes prickled suddenly and he quickly turned around so Aster wouldn't catch sight of the tears gathering in his eyes.

He looked at North and Tooth helplessly, hoping that at least they were on his side but his hopes were crushed as soon as he caught sight of their sad, betrayed expressions. The fact that none of the two were looking at him spoke volumes about the thoughts they had about him.

So that was it? After all their pushing him to become one of them they were just casting him out again because of one mistake that was not even his fault? They hadn't even let him explain properly what had happened but that apparently didn't stop them from condemning him as untrustworthy.

Before the tears could escape his eyes in front of the Guardians Jack turned around and flew off as fast as he could manage in his state, doing his best not to crash against anything. His blurry vision made it kind of hard to see anything.

Shortly before his departure he'd let go of North' tiny wooden baby the jolly man had given him back at the pole. It landed with a dull 'thud' in the grass, emphasizing the child's unwillingness to see them again anytime soon if ever.

#/#/#

The wind the child was riding on blew harsher than normal caused by his passenger's distress. Somewhere over the ocean Jack's tears finally had begun to spill over his cheeks, some of them freezing in place but most of them quickly spilling off his face and into the air because of the harsh wind that hit his skin.

Jack didn't notice anything around him because of the sobs that were wrecking his slim frame. Fortunately the wind always knew somehow where the winter child wanted to go and therefore it carried the distraught child towards the Antarctica where he would be left alone and could let his emotions out as much and as loud as he wanted undisturbed.

#/#/#

Why could no one like him for one time? The rejection he got wasn't unexpected but this time it hurt more than normal. He couldn't deal with it like he usually did because this time he had actually begun to hope that maybe, just maybe they had accepted him and even liked him.

He wondered if Pitch' words earlier really were as wrong as he at first thought. If the other had been lying then why was he still alone after three hundred years? It couldn't be completely the fault of everyone else could it? Maybe he _did_ make a mess of everything. What had happened today just proved that.

For a few long moments Jack curled up in the snow after he arrived, sobbing to himself, trying to ease the pain, the helplessness and the hopelessness that threatened to consume him.

It took him a while to calm down enough to try (and fail) to throw his teeth away over the edge of an ice cliff he had run up to on slightly unsteady legs.

#/#/#

Soon after his failed attempt Pitch showed up behind him, effectively distracting him from the pain and instead bringing all his anger forth.

And if the Boogeyman saw any traces that were left of his breakdown he politely didn't say anything about it.


	6. Uncertain

I'm sorry that this took so long but I worked really hard on this, harder than I did on any other chapters before so I hope the waiting was worth it!

And now I finished my very first fanfiction.. o: That feels kinda awesome. :D Hope you could all enjoy it. :)

* * *

Not much had changed for Jack since he fought alongside the Guardians against the Boogeyman. He still spent his days causing mischief wherever he goes, playing with children and doing whatever he feels like and most humans still couldn't see him. To be fair adults would never see him but children could. They just had to believe in him. For a long time no child had believed in Jack Frost. He had spent most of his life alone, isolated without anyone at his side and wishing for some company.

Now, that the Guardians cared about him, about what he did and what he felt…it made him uncomfortable. He had distanced himself more and more from them so they couldn't reject him again or be disappointed in him. He did it to avoid getting hurt. They didn't know how many times he had actually fucked up, didn't know how weak and stupid he sometimes was or know what a failure he could be. They didn't know any of that yet and he wanted it to stay that way. So he made sure that they couldn't see him when he will mess up the next time which resulted in them not seeing much of him at all.

Oh, he still visited the Guardians every few weeks, each and every one of them. It might seem logical to think that the heat of the Tooth Palace or the Warren would bother him but heat had never been a problem for him. A winter spirit he might be but he could stand heat as long as he wanted; the only difference there was between the temperatures he was in were that his powers didn't work when it was too hot because everything he created, be it frost, snow or ice, it melted as soon as it appeared. But his well-being had never been affected, at least never to the point of discomfort or danger.

It had been surprising to learn that he actually enjoyed Bunny's company the most of the Guardians. Sure, they were all really nice to him but he didn't like to be coddled and Aster was the only one of them who didn't do that. The Pooka respected him and treated him like he did anyone else and that's what Jack liked so much about spending time with him.

They didn't have to speak all the time they spent together, sometimes it was enough to sit in silence and enjoy each other's company without words.

Most of the time they were painting googies, drawing and creating new designs together or they were bantering, rough-housing or racing each other playfully.

There had been a few times where Jack hadn't made himself known and instead had watched Bunny work unnoticed but that had been exceptions. They always spent their time together during daytime. Every time when night started Jack would leave. Not once had he spent the night at the Warren or any of the other Guardian's homes.

It wasn't that he didn't like them or trusted them enough, it was just that all the times he had been at anyone's place yet it had been a day where he didn't need to sleep. It had always been enough for him to sleep every few days for roughly twelve hours. He would sleep on tree branches or let the wind carry him through the air whenever he got tired.

OoOoOo

Jack had started to suffer from insomnia a few days after their defeat of Pitch. None of the other's knew about it and he intended it to stay that way. It wasn't a big deal. Everyone had trouble sleeping once in a while. The only thing that made him worry a little was that he couldn't remember even one time in his existence where he couldn't sleep, not in his human life and not in his immortal one.

Now every time he tried to sleep he couldn't stop remembering things he had avoided thinking about.

"You make a mess wherever you go." Pitch' words he had said to him in Pitch' lair while Easter was ruined. "You have a bad habit of interfering." Pitch again. The most events that prevented him from finding any rest were things the Boogeyman had said to him but not everything he had avoided thinking about where about Pitch. Aster's words when he, North and Tooth had accused him of ruining Easter echoed inside his head, too.

"We should never have trusted you" , "He has to go." , "Where did you get that Jack?" It hurt something deep inside of him to remember those things, to hear them again and again, to hear them being repeated for hours in his mind.

It didn't take long for Jack to abandon the idea of sleeping completely. It hurt him too much when he was forced to think about those things. The worst of it was the guilt and the anger at himself that had begun to eat at him.

He knew that he had messed up a few times too many but nothing of that had ever been his intention. All he had wanted was to be accepted, to learn his purpose for existing, to learn who he _was_.

Nothing he did had helped against his insomnia. He tried counting sheep, focusing only on his breathing, listening to soothing music that floated out of someone's bedroom, he even tried exhausting himself until he felt like he could drop unconscious the next second but nothing worked! Sleep jut wouldn't come instead he would lay awake for hours on end, forced to listen and watch all of his unpleasant memories that came to the forefront of his mind as soon as he laid down and closed his eyes.

At first Jack had thought it wouldn't be so bad to miss a bit of sleep, that it would solve itself with time and vanish like the problem had never been there at all. That assumption was proved wrong when his powers slipped more and more out of his control the more tired he got.

It started harmless enough, a few slips of his aim while having snowball fights with kids here, a little less concentration than normal there but it got worse fast. Sooner than he would have liked he would fall asleep for a few seconds while he was flying, almost crashing against buildings or trees more than once, his already short attention-span grew almost nonexistent and the usually easily controlled and harmless snowstorms grew lethal and dangerous and all of that because he was too tired to wield his powers properly.

He thought that he could deal with it alone because it wasn't the first time that he had problems and he had managed to deal with every one of them in the past on his own just fine.

Admittedly the blizzard of '68 would have never happened had he gotten some help. But there hadn't been anyone who he could have asked and in the end he had managed to deal with it alone hadn't he? One blizzard wasn't that bad. It could have been way worse couldn't it?

The Guardians didn't need to know all of his problems. He didn't want them to think of him as weak, didn't want their pity they would give him when they knew because they couldn't understand him. They couldn't because they hadn't been through the things he had been through and they didn't even know him properly. No amount of explaining could make them truly understand so Jack didn't bother to trying and kept his problems to himself.

OoOoOo

After nine days Jack got seriously frustrated. After twelve he felt helpless. When three weeks had passed without any real rest he grew desperate and decided to screw it and just visit Aster and see if he could help him. No matter how much he didn't want the other to see him so weak, he couldn't see another option.

When he finally managed to visit Aster after debating with himself for almost two whole days it was hard to act like he usually would. His body felt weak and sore everywhere, his eyes drooped every few seconds and it was hard to concentrate on anything. He was pretty sure he managed well enough to hide it but from the suspicious look in Aster's eyes he saw whenever the other one looked over to him it seemed that Aster had noticed that something was up with him.

"You okay Frostbite?" They were both drawing new designs onto a big blank piece of paper for next Easter. Aster had an expression on his face that could be interpreted as concern by the overly optimistic. Jack wasn't one of them.

Lifting his head and turning his face towards Aster he shot him a smirk and responded: "Awww, does the big bad-ass Pooka actually have a heart? I'm touched, really." The younger's tone was mocking and his teasing expression only emphasized it more.

It was hard for Jack to manage that much with the growing headache that was distracting him but he managed well enough. He is glad that they were both sitting and he didn't have to stand up because he was sure that his legs wouldn't carry him properly if the exhausted feeling in his body was any indication.

Aster shot a glare his way but surprisingly didn't say anything further. Fear that the Pooka had noticed the poor shape he was in made cold sweat break out across his neck which only heightened the discomfort he was already in because of the heat of the Warren was bothering him. He felt uncomfortable, more exhausted than normal and he had started to sweat almost instantly when he had arrived. That had never happened to him before. Normally he could stand heat without any problems but today he just wasn't able to. Apparently his body didn't like the lack of sleep it had been going through for three weeks now.

Jack shook his head, dispelling the thought of Aster pitying him and tried in vain to concentrate once more on the patterns he had drawn on the sheet in front of him. It was hard to do anything more than staring at it with his vision swimming and his thoughts being all muddled inside his head. Damn exhaustion.

OoOoOo

Everything was okay. He could deal with it just fine. It would go away with time, he was sure of it. This insomnia couldn't go on forever right?

Right?

At the end of the day Jack wasn't so sure about that anymore. He felt like he would collapse any minute and it got harder with every second that passed to keep himself moderately upright while sitting on the ground.

Since Aster had asked him if he was okay he couldn't refocus on painting new designs so he had sat there, staring at the piece of paper without doing anything for a while until Bunny stretched and declared after a huge yawn: "Damn, it's late. Should be enough for one day. What da'ya say Frostbite?" The rabbit looked over to him then before he continued. "You wanna stay the night mate? It's really late an' you look really knackered."

Getting to his feet with the help of his staff which was the only thing that kept him standing Jack hesitated, debating with himself before he gave in with a sigh and nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that." There was something that looked a lot like relieve and joy that flashed across Aster's face after he agreed but Jack decided to ignore it for now. He could tease Cottontail about it later when he didn't feel as tired as he did right now anymore.

Just as he was taking one step forward his legs wobbled dangerously for a moment before his body collapsed. His face would have smashed right onto the ground had Aster not caught him in time.

A groan escaped Jack's mouth before he could stop it. His vision was bleary when he turned his gaze upwards to meet Bunny's whose brows where furrowed and his mouth twisted downwards as he pulled his lax body against his furry chest.

The winter child could feel the words that Aster said vibrate through the chest his face was pressed against. "Ya're an idiot, ya know that? Should'a said somethin' sooner. I would'a stopped earlier if I had known how tired ya are."

Jack forced a grin onto his face. "Aw c'mon now. I'm not that tired. Just wanted to see how you'd react if I fainted." His voice sounded teasing but there was still a tired undertone in it he couldn't quite banish from it. Aster raised an eyebrow at him, clearly not believing a word he had said. Sighing Jack looked sullenly to the side.

"Sorry. I just…I thought I could handle it on my own. But I can't and I don't know what to do because I tried _everything_ already and-"He was kind of glad when Aster interrupted him. The arms that were wrapped around him tightening their hold and the paws that tucked his head protectively underneath the other's chin calmed him down before he could work himself up any more than he already had.

"Calm down ya Drongo. I don't have the faintest idea what ya're talkin' 'bout. Mind explainin'?" Aster's voice sounded annoyed but there was an underlying softness in it that made something in Jack's body warm up and made him relax for the first time he had in three weeks.

Jack nodded, and then turned his head so he wouldn't get fur inside his mouth.

"I can't fall asleep… every time I close my eyes I...I remember stuff, you know? Bad stuff, things I don't want to remember or think about," he stopped for a moment to catch his breath, "I hear the things Pitch had said to me when he had been chasing me around inside his lair, saying things like-"

His mouth clicked shut abruptly when Aster interrupted him.

"Whoa hold on there mate. What do ya mean 'while he was chasin' ya around his cave'? When did that happen?" His shoulders had been grabbed and pushed away from the other's body who was watching him while he talked.

Jack avoided his searching gaze and mumbled something or another quietly. Fortunately Bunny had better hearing than most do or he would have never caught what the kid had said.

"After I brought Sophie home…I heard a voice calling my name and I would never have followed it had it not sounded so strangely familiar…" Jack shrugged. "So I chased after it until I landed in Pitch' lair. When I was there Pitch started to mess with me, saying things like you guys would never accept me and that I wouldn't ever be a Guardian because I make a mess out of everything and he taunted me with my deepest fears and…and I just can't forget what he said…or what you said to me when you all thought I had betrayed you..:"

There were tears gathering in the blue eyes but they were blinked back as fast as they had come. Jack shrugged a second time to seem nonchalant about it but the tense line of his jaw and shoulders gave him away. Instead of commenting on it Bunny pulled him back in an embrace, curling his bigger body around the winter child.

"I'm sorry Jack. About what I said back then…I was wrong. We _can_ trust you. If we can trust somebody it's you. But," the Pooka chuckled and hopped towards his sleeping place, Jack still held securely in his arms, "I think we should talk more tomorrow. Ya look like ya need ta sleep now." A fond expression had wormed itself over the furry face but even though it remained unseen the boy heard it in his voice.

"Thanks." Jack's voice was muffled when he talked against the fur of Aster's chest where he had pressed his face into, the rest of his body curled up against the other's warm body. Aster settled himself inside his nest until he felt comfortable, his arms still wrapped around the winter child whose face was tucked underneath his chin. "Any time Jacky. Any time." A sleepy but happy smile adorned the boy's face while he slept undisturbed through the night in the arms of the Guardian of Hope.

OoOoOo

The next morning was bright, warm and greeted the two well rested Guardians cheerfully. They both stretched and yawned before they got up to eat breakfast. Shortly before Jack was about to bite another piece off of his meal Aster spoke up. "Hope ya learned that ya can always ask for help if ya need it. An' I mean you can ask any one of us. 'm not the only one who cares 'bout ya. Next time ya have a problem ya can't deal with ya come to one of us, is that clear?" He waved his paw mock-threatening towards the youngster while he talked but it was still clear how serious he was so Jack nodded and shot him a sheepish apologetic look.

"Sure thing Cottontail." The grin on the boy's face was teasing even though he felt warm and happy inside after Aster's reassurance. It felt good to know that there were people who would help him when he needed them. He saluted mockingly and laughed when the other threw a carrot stick at him. It seemed like he would spent the next few nights with Aster. He honestly couldn't say that he minded that one bit.


End file.
